The bar has dropped so low, it's practically six feet under.

When did the barest minimum become the norm? When did we start celebrating the bare minimum like it's the peak of excellence? I just don't get it. It's honestly getting out of hand. I'm scrolling through social media and seeing posts about relationships where people are giving out green flags for the most basic things, and I'm like—are we serious?

We're glorifying and normalizing a whole lot of nonsense all in the name of Gen Z, especially on Twitter (because, seriously, who calls it X). This shouldn't even be a surprise because by now, we've established that people who live on Twitter are something else. I literally cannot count the number of posts I've seen glorifying something that's so basic, something that should be normal.

A while ago, my girl,

Faridah

and I ranted about one of those posts. Faridah was like, "look at the number of green flags they even put there." 😭😭😂

So many flags😭😭😂

Sis, I'm glad your man remembers to check on you, as y'all should be doing. I mean, we're talking about basic human interaction here. Like, if you and your partner aren't communicating about your day and your well-being, then what exactly are you doing?

The fact that posts like these go viral and countless women repost them with comments like, "it's so hot." "It’s so cute." "I want🥹” is just wild.

Is it too much to ask that your partner cares about your emotional state every day? If this is where the bar is now, I'm out. Can we even call it bare minimum because this is basic human interaction? I ask literally almost everyone I talk to "how are you" and "how was your day."

Recently, I saw a TikTok video where two girls were giggling and blushing over a story about how their man is so ‘cute and sweet’ because every time he takes her out, she always pays for the meal, but he ‘fights’ her to pay for dessert. And she ends up paying. Aww, so sweet, right?😭 The girl and her friend were laughing, calling him such a ‘gentleman’ and saying he’s ‘so cute’ for that.

😭😭😂

I understand that for some, these gestures might be meaningful or a sign of affection, but the point I’m making is that we shouldn’t settle for the bare minimum. Relationships should be built on mutual effort and respect. We shouldn’t let low effort be mistaken for love.

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I saw this post on Instagram the other day, and this just emphasized the whole thing.

You know what's even worse? When someone actually expresses having standards these days, they get comments like:

"You're too picky." "Your standards are unrealistic." "Good luck finding someone like that." "You're going to end up alone."

It's as if having healthy expectations is a crime in today's world.

Like, excuse me? Since when did expecting a partner to be emotionally mature, financially responsible, and genuinely invested in the relationship become "unrealistic standards"?

When did we start confusing bare minimum gestures for grand romantic acts? Relationships are supposed to be built on mutual care, effort, and respect. If we're celebrating a partner who merely exists without putting in genuine effort, then we've lost the plot.

Having low standards creates a ripple effect. When we collectively accept the bare minimum, it normalizes laziness and apathy in relationships. Suddenly, the people who actually try—the ones who go out of their way to love and care deeply—are seen as "doing too much" instead of, you know, people simply showing affection.

What we're calling "high standards" these days are just basic standards for a healthy relationship:

• Being able to communicate properly

• Having your life somewhat together

• Showing genuine interest in your partner

• Being emotionally available

These aren't "high standards" - this is the foundation of any healthy relationship. But because we've normalized celebrating the bare minimum, anyone asking for more than crumbs is labeled as "too picky."

If I'm "too picky" or "too much" for having realistic and healthy standards, then I'm too much.

We've got to raise the bar. Glorifying the barest minimum is just so wrong. When did it become revolutionary for people to act like they actually like their partners?

When we celebrate the bare minimum, we start conditioning ourselves—and others—to settle for less. And I'm not here for it.

Having standards isn't about being difficult or demanding. It's about knowing your worth and understanding that a healthy relationship should add value to your life, not just exist in it. It's about valuing yourself enough to expect respect, effort, and basic decency in any relationship.

So, raise the bar. Expect communication, respect, and genuine effort, and reciprocate. And when you find someone who goes above and beyond, appreciate them for it—but don’t mistake basic decency with going above and beyond.

Stop celebrating mediocrity. Stop normalizing the bare minimum. And for heaven's sake, stop acting like basic human decency is a luxury.

You deserve more than the bare minimum. We all do. Anyone who thinks having realistic and healthy standards is too much is not up to par.

Because a person who really values you will never settle for giving you the bare minimum. And you shouldn't settle for it either.

Love,

Fatiah💕